iChalice: Unitarian Universalism meets Web 2.0

from November 7, "Probably Not" (sermon on God/Atheism)

2010-11-08T15:52:00.002-06:00

Here's an excerpt. For the whole thing, email me, check out Second Unitarian of Omaha's podcasts in coming weeks, or visit the church for your paper copy!:

How many of you are like me, that in moments of outright fear and panic, you find yourself whispering a prayer, a hope on a wing, a cry for some peace and assistance? At any given moment, throughout this world, there are people longing to reach someone who can help, someone who will listen and care, some God or something that can be there for them when no one else can or has. To want this, to need this is not weak it’s quite the opposite – it’s strong beyond measure to be vulnerable and ask for help, even if you’re not sure the request will be heard...

from Sept 26's sermon: "A House for Hope"

2010-10-08T00:20:00.001-05:00

"Our theology says that there is not one single understanding of the world, that says that we are meant to be supported, not saved – developed, not damned – loved, not left behind.

[...]

We are called to listen to prophets and to prophesy ourselves. We are called to share that this earth we care so much about is important not for some ideological or intellectual or partisan reason but because we love this earth – the trees, the birds, the caterpillars and the butterflies. We love this earth because it is that which has born and sustain us all and without it we would not live.

We are called to shout to the world that is simply not acceptable that even as we mythologize America to our children and tell everyone that we are about freedom, that even as we try to export freedom as though it were a tangible commodity like McDonalds or Starbucks, we are called to shout to the world that our experience says that all people are created equal, women and men. That all people under this flag of the United States of America should have equal protection under the law – and that goes for gays, lesbians, bisexuals and people who are transgendered as well as people of color.

These are our lives, not merely our ideas; these are our stories, not theoretical hypotheses; these are our hopes, not our worst fears, that encourage us to believe more fully in life and to have that ultimate optimism that we can overcome...

Blue Boat Home

2010-03-28T10:23:00.002-06:00

I thought my "Blue Boat Home" video was closer to the top of the page, but I was wrong - so I've decided to re-post it.

Roller Coasters in Worship

2009-07-13T09:06:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, at the UU Congregation of Fairfax, I preached about roller coasters (and more importantly, how we get over fear). Below is the text (though as always it's generally what I said as I alter as I speak). Also are two videos - one is my request and instruction on how to show that you agree/enjoy for the day and the other is the call to worship.

Roller Coaster Sermon

Before GA!

2009-06-22T07:09:00.002-05:00

It's 5am in Arizona (they do not follow daylight savings time) - and I and a colleague are on our way to the Grand Canyon before driving to Salt Lake City today. I'm excited to see my fellow religionists, do good work and elect a new President (well...not "excited" about that last one) - but I am giddy with anticipation over a few hours at a massive, awe-inspiring natural setting. It will certainly help me keep life in perspective to see something so grand and remember just how small it is compared to the universe.

As Duncan Sheik wrote, "it's only a firefly to the light of the sun."

Earthbound Starlight

2009-05-17T05:18:00.006-05:00

This sermon is the last of my internship at the UU Congregation of Fairfax. Below is a brief snippet followed by a link to the full text (PDF).

Some of you may be familiar with this phrase, “You cannot step twice into the same river; for other waters are continually flowing in.” Regardless of how similar two situations seem, they are unique in and of themselves because every moment changes our lives. Think about that for a second. Over the next day, take a moment to remember that as you are driving – so are millions of other people. Thousands of those people are going through a divorce and thousands more and planning weddings, hundreds are getting back from doctors visits. Every moment of every day encompasses a life-changing event in someone’s life.

Your presence here today changes your life – your decision to go and do something, or conversely to NOT do something, changes your life. Now some people will hear this and set out to make every trip to get coffee a major life-changing event. It doesn’t work that way. No, what I mean is that we never know when going to get coffee means hearing something on the radio that changes our view on an issue which changes how we treat others which change how they treat others and so on. You all know this concept of the butterfly effect – a butterfly flaps its wings and a week later it rains? It’s like that – but with the totality of our lives.

I’ve found that this revelation and understanding can either weigh you down with anxiety or can free your mind by way of surrender. One can continue to ride around the merry-go-round always wondering when the horse will go down or come back up, holding onto the handles for dear life and praying that the ride never stops – or not. The other option is to look around – to look at friends on the merry-go-round, to look at the people outside waiting for their turn, to see the sun – and the rain – and be grateful for all of it. To know that the ride will stop at some point, but there is joy and something to be gained from looking back, something special and unique about each present moment and that the future possibilities are limitless.

Scott McNeill

Full text here!

Spiritual Health: Family

2009-05-10T07:27:00.002-05:00

Brief homily as part of a series of reflections this morning on Family:

For all of the considerable issues one can take with Walt Disney animated movies, I find myself drawn to one in particular – this movie from 2002, Lilo and Stitch. Lilo is a little girl from Hawaii who lives with her big sister after their parents died and Stitch – well, Stitch is an alien experiment. Made to destroy everything, he winds up on earth paling around with Lilo as a way to avoid capture . As the movie unfolds, you see two story lines – Stitch transforms from chaotic to orderly, from alien, other, stranger to comfortable, to family. The other is the trouble and hard work that goes into defining family, particularly when it’s non-traditional.

Perhaps this is what calls to me about Lilo and Stitch, this idea that family is what you make it as opposed to what people expect. One line that peppers the script is, “Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

The idea of family has so many definitions and meanings that we cannot help but wonder if there is anything real about it, at all. Worse yet, pain caused by family and uncertainty about what role people will play in our lives create questions and existential doubt about whether or not we’re in this all alone? There is a balance, a grey area to the poles of isolation and relationship. We must be ourselves and yet none of us in this world are singular beings. We are, as Dr. Martin Luther King and our own UU principles say, caught in an interdependent web , an inescapable network of mutuality .

And yet, that is the crux of my beliefs on spiritual health and on theology. Our souls – that which we were as kids, have been as adults and will be in our last days – our souls are fed by one another. We are relational beings, meant to roam this world together. I believe that we need one another to be complete, to be whole, to be at our healthiest. Not that we need specific people or roles, but that we need to be engaged with other human beings and the world instead of solely within ourselves. A few weeks ago I preached a memorial service of a young man who never married and not once did anyone speak of his love life – but everyone talked about how important family was to him. Although he wasn’t perfect, he worked hard at being there for his family and loving them. He occasionally missed an important holiday or birthday due to work, but people knew that regardless of that particular dynamic, he loved them through and through.

In the end, family is about knowing whose we are and to whom we relate - who will not leave us behind nor forget us. How we find those people changes for many of us – some family members we are born with, some we choose, and some find us miraculously. Whoever we are, whomever we love – having people who love us, lift us up and occasionally get on our nerves is vital to living a full life. Family, as we all know, is difficult and at times like a little alien monster. But the love and affirmation that can come from those around us can help us in finding a salve for our wounds, find ways to become our best selves and bring a brighter smile to our faces for all the days of our lives.

"Say What You Need to Say" sermon (Apr 26)

2009-04-26T06:20:00.004-05:00

Teasers below:

A few months ago, a friend was visiting me and we drove from here to North Carolina. We were catching up on old times, it had been a year or so since we last saw one another and as we drove, we talked about our inability to talk about what we needed. At one dead point in the conversation, she started singing this one phrase over and over again and I just looked at her like what are you doing? The phrase was “Say what you need to say, say what you need to say. Say what you need to say.” I thought, well, this will make a fun trip because she’s finally lost it.

[...]

This is the crux of our faith, that out of our experience is an ever-evolving truth and understanding that will continue to be revealed to person after person, generation after generation. Our faith is a liberal tradition and theology, which means that we are open to changes, our fate isn’t sealed. And it is here that I would center our need and expectation to “say what we need to say.” Unitarian Universalists do not have a central statement of belief and yet we affirm that equity in human relations, encouragement to spiritual growth, a free and responsible search for truth and meaning, and among other things, the right of conscience. [2] Four of our principles touch on the need to find our voice and truth and to speak it to one another and the larger world.

[...]

Going back to the metaphor of Vernon Johns tilling the soil, we know that we must in fact pull up some weeds here and there in the back-breaking sun if we want a harvest this year. That plants don’t just pick themselves and that if we let gardens and farms go without any work for too long, the birds come in and the worms and the snakes, and soon the crops can’t recover for the season. They have to wait another year to produce the bounty from which this whole world is blessed. It is only when I am at my best self and you are at your best self, only when we together are the cream of the crop, that this world can truly move forward. We need one another. Our principles AND Dr. King remind us that we are tied inextricably in a garment of destiny, a web of interdependent life. [5]

[...]

It’s not an easy road, speaking our truth. It’s a garden that we’d much rather let other people take care of – so we put up a scarecrow, a shell of ourselves that isn’t vulnerable. And yet, we know that the scarecrow can only do a little bit of passive work to protect the garden and that we must, at the end of our days, get our hands dirty, pull out the weeds and when we find a plant that others should know about – it’s our responsibility to bring it to them out of love and hope.

Amen and blessed be.

----------
[1] Mayer, John. “Say,” Aware Records, 2007.
[2] Principles and Purposes, Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations.
[3] “The Road to Freedom: The Vernon Johns Story.” Vidmark Co, 1998.
[4] Cooney, Patrick. The Life and Times of the Prophet Vernon Johns. 1998.
[5] King, Martin Luther. Letter from a Birmingham Jail, accessed via www.stanford.edu/group/King/frequentdocs/birmingham.pdf, 1963.
[6] Hopson, Hal. “Though I May Speak with Bravest Fire,” Singing the Living Tradition, Unitarian Universalist Association, 1993.

Our Blue Boat Home

2009-04-23T10:55:00.007-05:00

Last Sunday, the worship at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Fairfax centered around Spiritual Health: What We Consume. This was particularly fascinating with Earth Day (one of our congregants was on the legislative staff of Sen. Gaylord Nelson who helped create Earth Day) this week.

I made a video/slideshow for our closing meditation that was underscored by Peter Mayer's "Blue Boat Home" (also our Gathering Song of the month). Peter Mayer's music is ... beyond gorgeous and I highly recommend going to iTunes and buying "Blue Boat Home" or my personal favorite, "The Play."

Anyway, the slideshow is here. I made it very high-resolution to play directly from my computer to the projector but when I exported it for YouTube, the resolution fell quite a bit. Just know that the pictures (taken by me Scott McNeill, Marilyn O'Connell and from some Creative Commons users on Flickr) look a lot better in high-res. Go to YouTube from the image below for a larger video (or just enjoy this one).

Sermon mp3!

2009-02-06T02:38:00.002-06:00

There is an audio version of my most recent sermon ("The Dark I Know Well") located here (or available to download as a podcast). I hope you enjoy and would welcome helpful feedback.

Domestic Violence Sermon

2009-01-25T06:16:00.006-06:00

It's been too long since a post; I'm going to try to jump start this blog again. And the first entry back will be today's sermon about Domestic Violence, "The Dark I Know Well."

Author Rick Bragg, in his memoir about growing up with his mother in a poor Alabama town, starts the book by saying, “God help me, Momma, if I’m clumsy (All Over but the Shoutin' xxii).” Amen.

I tell a story of my life and of a life known by millions of people through history. I tell this story knowing fully my social location and that I have considerable privilege compared to many people. I tell this story not to take the words of women into my own mouth but to share my experience and to share what I’ve been told. I tell this story not to ignore my brothers who suffer abuse though I tell this story with the emphasis on my sisters, because it is women who experience violence in relationships most often.

This story starts with me as a child. I grew up seeing terrorism daily. I know some people cringe at that word and I do not use it lightly; but what else can you call an act that sparks fear with a door opening or a car pulling into the driveway? Like many young boys and girls, I lived in the same house as a terrorist and I thought daily of how I might forge my own insurrection. “Mostly I remember,” in the words of Rick Bragg, “how helpless and weak and useless I was (Bragg 64).”

As the years have rolled by, my heart continues to reach out to my mother, and to her mother who went through years of abuse. And to aunts. And to girlfriends. And to best friends. To colleagues and to strangers. A couple of weeks ago, as I began to really dig into this service, a close friend reached out to me to talk about her violent partner and how to get help. I thought, at first, of how the timing was coincidental and then, maybe half a second later, I remembered the sickening truth – that there is nothing coincidental about the timing; the fact remains that all year long, at any given moment, women all around us are being verbally, physically, emotionally and sexually assaulted in their homes and relationships. I could preach this sermon six months from now and the message would still be timely.

I preach it now because we are blessed to have the Vagina Monologues performed here next weekend. It is always helpful to have a reminder, a breaking of the silence, an acknowledgement of what happens behind the walls of homes across Fairfax and across the world. We are not immune. I have had people, when I talk about this sermon, react with surprise that there are women in our congregations who need this message. I have had people tell me that we should focus on how we can support groups and shelters for women without acknowledging the very real fact that before we can give money to the local group we must give our ears and hearts to the local parishioner. We must give ears to the stories that are so often unspoken.

Many of you right now are either nodding your heads or on the inside know I’m speaking the truth. There is no vaccination, no criteria that automatically saves a woman from domestic violence or sexual assault. Being rich doesn’t shield you; being educated doesn’t stop it; being a person of faith doesn’t prevent it. This evil crosses into homes of the waitress in Alabama just as much as it does the lawyer in Maryland or the pastor in Virginia. Too often we as a society can say oh let’s help someone else, it must be someone else’s problem but I know without a shadow of doubt that it is our problem. Every single one of us has some connection to this.

Along with the personal connections that we each share to this haunting issue, comes a religious connection. As people of faith we are charged with reflecting the holy to everyone else, regardless of what we see as holy. We are also charged, as liberal religionists, to craft peace in a violent world through new revelations and to dismantle the oppression of old revelations. Susan Brooks Thisthewaith, a minister and President of a Chicago theological school, tells of a woman who had complained to her husband of his abuse and the scars she bore. He responded that her bones were his bones, as it said in the Bible – relating back to the story of Adam and Eve (“Every Two Minutes” 311). Other texts, such as 1 Peter 2:19-21 tell the faithful that they should suffer as Jesus suffered for them. As my colleague, Rev. Michael Tino writes, “If a woman is taught to believe that the pain inflicted by her abusive [partner] is a test of her faith and her willingness to keep her family together no matter what the personal cost, there is a problem with what she is being taught—not with her (Tino “Saving Paradise).”

It’s important to find a way to both challenge the theologies that oppress women and others and to find theological language and imagery that supports us and lifts us up out of our days of despair. While misogyny arising out of the Bible is wrong, it’s possible to create an interpretation that is fair and supportive of all people. We need to be stark advocates for a theology and a text that uplifts women, that uplifts good relationships instead of privileging suffering and plight.

We need to define a theology, whatever the foundation – though I find that this is a particularly strong area for humanism; we need a theology that calls us to right these wrongs. We need to be a faith that stands up with our sisters who are hurt and abused. We need to be a faith that challenges those who perpetrate the acts and call on them to admit their wrongs and work with them to change for the better. We need to be a faith that tells our young boys and girls, the secondary survivors of domestic violence, that when they see abuse, they too suffer and that we will be there for them. We need to be that faith. We ARE that faith. We are a faith that holds up primary survivors, secondary survivors AND perpetrators.

How can this be, you might wonder? It is with the privilege of not being a victim of spousal abuse that I can say we need to hold up all of those involved. Yet as one who has seen the horror and lives with the memories, I am invested in how we change the cycle. As our congregation learns more about reconciliation, we must ask, what can we do to reconcile with those who hurt us?

There are four major parts to this act of reconciliation. The first, and it must be first because without it you cannot move forward and yet it is the most difficult, the first is reconciliation with the self. Far too many women internalize the doubts and the judgments that are pushed by their abusers. Far too many women internalize the hatred, the words, the scars, blaming their situation on their actions instead of on the perpetrators. This reconciliation, this becoming whole is a complex task that can take years. It needs to be done with others and alone, spoken aloud and written privately. In a poem production by Ntozake Shange (En-toe-ZAHK-kay SHONG-gay), she writes of girls who have been abused by their partners and then has them utter a phrase over and over: “My love is too beautiful to be thrown back in my face. My love is too sanctified to be thrown back in my face (for colored girls who considered suicide 46).” And on and on.

And powerful though that phrase may be, I know that there needs to be more than simply saying the words. Hearing those words once, or one hundred times, does not do the trick. The power of abuse is that it reaches down deep into the soul and plants the seed of doubt and confusion, while its weeds take away your power. Reconciliation with self is about stamping out those weeds, cleaning out the garden and starting with land that was misused but can still produce fruitful love.

The next step of reconciliation is with secondary survivors, those people who are in the lives of the abused but did not have the sins directed toward them. Children, parents, lovers and friends all make up this category and there must be reconciliation with them – not as though you who are abused did wrong. But you must become whole with them, pulling your experiences together and crafting a narrative that lifts you both towards the prospect of a healthy life.

Those common narratives are helpful to form with those around you but also with those women you do not know who have gone through similar experiences. Hearing that the person down the road, or down the pew, has gone through something like we have allows us to find some peace in our lives. This is the third piece of reconciliation – with other women and the larger world. Feminist scholar and author bell hooks wrote, “Like revolutionaries, … it is necessary …to stress that the ability to see and describe one’s own reality is a significant step in the long process of self-recovery: but it is only a beginning (hooks 25).” When you are in a good place with your experience, it is helpful to meet other people where they are and walk along the path with them. It’s beneficial for women to connect on what this means for their gender as well as for men to talk about what this violence means for men.

A couple of years ago I worked at a sexual assault center and part of my work was to visit a jail to talk with the men about sexual assault. To tell you the truth, they really didn’t care what I had to say – but when I opened it up to discussion, they listened to the men around them who had plenty to say, and they made an impact. One man in particular said that his sister, his mother and his wife – all had histories of being violated and abused. His words were powerful and caught the attention of the other guys so he went on to tell them to stop these acts. His final comment to them was, “If someone did this to your daughter, would you allow it? Remember, these women are someone’s daughter.” The men sat silently for a minute or two. These are the stories we need to speak aloud so that our sons and daughters here from others that there is a different way, that violence is not the answer.

And the final piece of reconciliation is the part that causes anxiety for all of us. Reconciliation with the abusers. I have to say I’ve cheated through this sermon – I’ve been able to speak about them in vague generalities, demonizing their behavior. Yet I’m called to see them for who they are in their fullness, not just in their moments of sin and shame. We are called to recognize that each of them was born with worth, respect and dignity. And every person who knows of a perpetrator knows that they can be kind, charming, friendly and generally someone we respect. Rick Bragg, in his book All Over but the Shoutin’, wrote strong but compassionate words about his father who was abusive. He recognized his humanity and that there were reasons for his actions, though not a single justification.

If only we could all be as strong as Rick Bragg. I’ve found it difficult in my past to be sympathetic to the plight of those who would abuse others. Yet, I am reminded time and time again that they too live lives full of sadness and strife, they too are people that deserve love and care. I can only imagine that for some of you, it’s hard to be like Rick Bragg and say gentle words with respect. It is in these times that I recognize that reconciliation may be less about making things right and more about making peace. There is truth to the idea that if we harbor anger and resentment, our aggressors, our oppressors win. They don’t necessarily let it weigh them down, so why should we. It makes abuse a double-edged sword.

So, with family, friends and community by your side, strive to reconcile. Emilie Townes is a womanist ethicist and she wrote a book about dismantling evil in culture. She writes that it is reconciling, not reconciliation, mediating, not mediation that is the goal – the process of working through evil, not the end result. Further she says, “We have dreams that can be more powerful than the nightmares, possibilities more radical than the realities, and a hope that does more than cling to a wish or sit by the side of the road, picking and sucking its teeth after dining on a meal of disaster and violence in our lives (Townes 162)."

I don’t pretend to think it’s easy. I don’t pretend to think you and that person should become best friends. Those dreams are dashed each time a hand is laid on someone’s body. All I know, all I can say is that justice means not being held down by another person – either physically or emotionally. Being at peace does not mean a clean slate, it means knowing you can walk through life safely on your terms. Being at peace also doesn’t deny anger or ask that you ignore or brush aside the pain of your life. It means being in touch with it, addressing it and grappling with it as best you can.

Oh what a day that will be when the words are gentle and the homes are safe. It’s up to us, though. It’s up to us clergy to speak the truth in public at times like this. It’s up to us to teach our kids how to relate to one another and how to handle arguments. It’s up to us to reach out to one another in moments of grief and not to turn our heads when we see violence. Too often, way too often, I’ve heard the story of a woman who was abused in public, only to have people brush right by and go on with their day. “What business is it of mine,” they say and we should reply that truly Dr. King was right, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” We need not to take care of the woman with bruises; we need simply to be there with her. We need not to fix her problem, we need simply to let her know that she can survive and have a better life. We need not to make it all better for her; we need simply to end the cycle in our own lives.

Rev. Rebecca Parker writes, “When I was in distress, I did not turn to my family or my church. In both places, I had learned that personal need had no place. The good person cares for others, but if she is hurt, frightened, confused or in need, these weaknesses are to be nursed in private, covered over or solved without bothering anyone else (Proverbs of Ashes 23).” From henceforth, know that this is a place where your hurt, fear, confusion and need are met with love and compassion. This place, this sacred space is for all of you, battered and broken, saddened and spiritless, happy and healthy. Our compassion for you will be carried in our hearts as we journey towards a world transformed by acts of love and justice. Amen and blessed be.

Full works cited available (publisher, etc) as opposed to the already included citations.

Scott McNeill

Singing the UU Songs of Zion

2008-04-18T12:02:00.004-05:00

I'm sitting in my Hymns, Sacred Songs and American Christianity class and struck, as I have been for a year or so, with the importance of hymns and music in faith and civic life. I'll be doing some work on learning more about our (UU) first incarnations of songbooks but I wondered how people see hymns and their place in our worship.

Are they just there to get us to the sermon? Better than the sermon? Is the melody more important than the words or do we care what the poetry is?

Scott McNeill

"On a High"

2007-09-08T17:17:00.000-05:00

Here are links to portion of the Sept 2, 2007 worship service at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Greensboro.

“I Have the Sun, It’s a Star — Why Should I Refuse It?”

Some of what we experience is out of our control, but a lot of it is in our control. What do we make worse than it has to be? For as much as we talk about impacting the lives of others, how do we impact our own? It’s a sort of social justice for the self.

Story for All Ages
Prayer
Responsive Reading
Sermon
Benediction

My new painting

2007-08-16T00:48:00.001-05:00

"Inside" - August 15, 2007

Standing Knee Deep in a River (and Dying of Thirst)

2007-08-12T03:10:00.000-05:00

Snippets from the text. Hopefully an mp3 will be up Sunday evening.

"Some days all that we want, all that we desire and all that we need is literally all around us. Yet somehow we miss out. Somehow what’s there is not enough or it’s not right. Sometimes, to carry the song lyrics a little further, the water is dirty and undrinkable. We have friends but those friends can’t share our burdens. We have love but our love cannot be salve on our deep wounds.

The original inspiration for this sermon comes from Skott Freedman. He has a song called, “Some Company”, in which he asks what would we do if we found out that today would be our last day. Instead of rushing around, ignoring plight and watching our favorite television shows, he asks us to take some time to spend some company with one another. To listen, to hear the stories. One of the things that I love about UUCG is its Tuesday lunch group which come together in a potluck style meal and bear witness to each other’s stories. We do this to a degree with joys and sorrows and in time spent over coffee hour. But what about Wednesdays or Thursdays? Expressions has been well-attended here and the latest UU World talks about midweek gatherings."

"We are called as religious liberals to engage one another so that the truth that is forever unfolding may come to us from a variety of voices."

What if No One's Watching (The God Sermon)

2007-08-09T00:20:00.002-05:00

This past Sunday, I preached a sermon entitled, "What if No One's Watching?" The blurb was as follows: "What does it mean to act in this world? Why do we do what we do? I heard a member of UUCG say, “Nothing we do is completely selfless.” Also, do we believe in things for the sake of comfort? Where is God in the 90% of life that isn’t tragedy?"

The mp3 is hosted here. Comments are welcome.

Scott McNeill

Nice Scenery

2005-12-18T01:20:00.000-06:00

Here are some pictures from The Mountain

Morning light

Waterfall

Waterfall2

Blue

Sky and Mountains

Sky and Mountains2

Rolling mountains

Give Thanks and Hope

2005-11-27T14:38:00.000-06:00

This sermon was given Sunday, November 27th at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Swannanoa Valley.

Before I begin, I’d like to share a blessing. Growing up Baptist, we said grace before meals. Now that I’m Unitarian Universalist, that simple tradition is gone. Here, however, is a blessing I’ve heard at my old church. “Let us not ask for blessings today. We are blessed enough – let us now be thankful. As many Unitarian Universalist centers remind us, we are fed by food we did not grow and we are warmed by fires we did not build.” So, it almost seems superfluous to talk about giving thanks only days after Thanksgiving. We are often reminded that this is the time of the year to be thankful for our many blessings – yet usually this state of mind is gone before the last leftovers.

What does true gratefulness in this society mean? Can we shift paradigms from one day of thanks into a larger culture of appreciation and gratitude? Why not remind people to share one thing they’re thankful for every week at the dinner table, as opposed to once a year. I’m reminded of a family tradition of telling your high and low points of the day. This may not seem like a way of being grateful – but for as much as we learn in those high AND low points, it’s important to be grateful for them. While we still need a holiday devoted to giving thanks, we also need a devotion to appreciation year round. Rather than only saying thanks, let us show it. Personally, I fear that saying something too often can demean it – so I look for other ways to express my gratitude. Yet other times, it’s the simple things that work – throwing a hand up while driving when someone lets you into a lane or saying thanks to the woman who held the door open for you. We all do this, sometimes habitually, but rarely are we truly moved by these actions.

Our national day of thanksgiving is situated suspectly on the edge of fall and winter. Many people fear and dislike winter – they long for the brightness of Summer. Others suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and need the Spring to come around again. In fact, with the hectic pace of Thanksgiving, the December holidays and New Year’s – it seems as though we can’t help but rush through winter. We use New Year’s as a measuring stick and call to change ourselves. How many of us make New Year’s resolutions every year? Better yet, how many times do we make these resolutions only to be disappointed weeks or months later, months if we’re lucky!

As we enter the cold, dark winter – we think of the past year and all of our years. Darkness often causes reflection – the trouble with outwardly sight leads to clarity of inwardly vision. So we ask for the things we truly want during our upcoming holidays of giving and we remember the things we held close to us on Thanksgiving. We tell our children, those that teach of Santa Claus, that this is the time of year that our good deeds and bad ones, too, are tallied up. Not only does this bring about reflection on the year but it teaches that we can be hopeful for change – that good behavior over December can change the minds of gift-givers. The cynic in me knows that telling our children this isn’t a way to teach them about evaluating themselves or giving them hope for the future – rather it’s easier to handle the onslaught of stress if the children are behaving.

Even with the stress that the holiday season brings, it’s possible and important to be thankful of the winter. Furthermore, while there are genuine stressors out there – how to avoid being sick because you have no health insurance, how to stay warm with soaring energy costs, and how to keep up in a materialistic culture gotten out of hand – sometimes we add to the stress purposefully. While we could easily stay at home and relax, it is enjoyable, in a way, to put together pies and dishes for the family get together. Wrapping presents is time consuming but it’s also indulgent – allowing yourself to know a secret, ready to surprise someone you care about with something good for them. So yes, it’s stressful – but there are ways around the anxiety if we wanted to make it simpler. But maybe that’s the coping mechanism some people use during the winter. If you create the busy pace, you don’t have to worry about making it through the long, cold months.

It seems strangely appropriate that we choose to celebrate and give thanks right before the winter. In times past, it was the season of death and strife – and it’s our nature to remind ourselves of our blessings right before or after we are aware of our troubles. One of the most frequent coping mechanisms in America comes out of this. How often do we hear ourselves or others saying, “Life is bad but at least I have my health/I’m alive/I have a job.”? Salvific religions, such as Christianity, address this with the notion that even though we are experiencing pain and hard times, we have plenty to be thankful for – and there’s more ahead.

The belief in miracles highlights hope. The need to know that the near impossible can occur is what makes us hold out and keep going. Earlier this week, in the world of blogs, a US Senator, Kent Conrad of North Dakota, was chastised (by one blog and supported by another) for being Unitarian with one of the reasons being that we, as UUs, don’t believe in miracles. The person who originally brought up Conrad’s faith references the website, “100 Questions that non-members ask about Unitarian Universalism,” which says about miracles, “We do not believe in miracles in any supernatural way since our ideas of God generally do not include a deity who has the ability to alter the workings of the natural world. Most UUs feel that the gift of life itself is sufficient miracle, and that we should live as fully, joyfully and responsibly as we can.” While many of us would agree with this, many of us also wonder about miracles noting that sometimes things do seem to work out when all the odds are against something.

The story of miracles is what makes this holiday season unique. So I ask, what is the wondrous miracle in your world? When did you first see the hope that was born in the cold, dark moments - like a baby or a lamp that kept burning? We, as human beings, have this unalienable propensity towards hope. It does, as the modern cliché go, spring eternal. There is significance to our celebrating these holidays in the winter. It is the coldest, bleakest times of our lives in which we need hope. It is the time in which we are more likely to call to God, some deity, or simply to our deepest selves. Think. Talk. Write. Spend the next few weeks processing what your miracle is – the thing that keeps you believing in hope and the thing that seems like it never should’ve happened but still blessed you. Share with me and others your story, your miracle, your lighting of a candle that throughout problem and strife will be there to guide your way.

The second part of today’s message is to give hope. There are too many people in the world today who need to know that it still exists. In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, undoubtedly many people felt all was lost – facing battering winds and torrential downpour, being left to fend for themselves by the people who should’ve been there for them in their time of need, people made it through. As I said before, it is nearly impossible to lose hope. We may try – and it can, eventually be done, but it almost always stays, in some tiny corner of the heart. Often, when we’re hurt and want to find a way to protect ourselves, we try to lose hope – to destroy the idea that we can not only survive but succeed in the face of despair.

I know it’s hard to do – but I think it’s time we start embracing struggle. Much like the winter, it is bleak and stressful – but also like the winter – it is to be expected and it’s necessary. As our leaves change colors, die and fall off the tree, an imperative role in the creation of new leaves, we, too, must wither and fall some, only to make it through as something new. We are deeply changed, through our struggles, and we need this to grow.

I was reminded last night while watching an episode of The West Wing, of the biblical story of Abraham and Sarah. Abraham loses hope that God’s promise of children will be fulfilled – so he tries to create the situation for himself. Now many will preach this story as an example of not doubting God – which is far from what I’m saying. Instead, it illustrates that Abraham never relinquished hope. He and Sarah continue to try and do, in fact, have a child.

Lest you think I’m a television junkie, another episode of a tv show reminds me of human hope in its current form. This character hoped his wife would call after she left during one of their fights. He slept by the phone, worried that his phone didn’t work, and kept checking, carefully, to make sure it worked lest she call during his attempt to see if the phone worked. I thought of myself and many others who have done similar things – waiting longer than we rationally should for something – just in case it worked out.

Hope is more than faith. It’s an optimistic anticipation instead of a belief in things not seen. Giving thanks is more than appreciation – it’s an act of caring and humility. As we prepare for winter, when our culture emphasizes gratefulness as well as hope, what do we make of each? How do we make the best of stressful times that can seem too dark and too cold? Thankful for the change of seasons and how they fulfill a cycle of human life and hopeful that our lives can change, we come together to brace the cold, the dark, the loneliness and despair in honor of embracing thankfulness, hope and our blessed community. Blessed be.

Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices

2005-11-18T00:47:00.000-06:00

This past Sunday, the UNC-Asheville Fellowship of Unitarian Universalist Students, UNC-A ACLU and UNC-A Socialist Unity League screened the film, "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices."

Unfortunately, the other two groups (not the FUUS group) only helped in name, as they sent some of their members but not many. I organized the screening and some of the FUUS members put up flyers and brought snacks/money for snacks. Originally we reserved a room expecting 10-15. People started RSVP'ing via the Wal-Mart movie website and by the week of the screening we were at 25 - not including the FUUS group, other student groups, students who saw the flyers/were told by teachers/saw the info on any number of internet forums. I tried to move to a larger room but the only other room available was a huge room and I made the call not to move (I'd rather it look very full than be very empty).

So Sunday night comes, after I've given a good sermon in Boone, and we are setting up at 6:30 (the show starts at 7). Immediately people showed up - so we started moving tables and chairs around to make room. More people coming (it was a non-stop movement into the room). We passed around a sign-up sheet and name tags and showed the faux commercials on the DVD. At 6:59, I addressed a full room (seating was for 39, capacity was 69 and we were at 90-100 at this point) and turned on the film. More people trickled in and we finished with over 150 people (not counting about 15 who walked by, watched for a couple of minutes and kept going). It was so full that people sat on the floor, stood inside, stood outside and crowded around the doors. My only fear was that the police would make us ask people to leave (several had already left due to the crowd and we told them where another viewing would be this week). The film went well and afterward the UNCA FUUS group had their first face to face meeting (albeit brief)! We had a couple of folks stay after that were interested in the group and the sign up lists (which I designed to have boxes to show interest) also netted us a couple of members or potential members. It was a huge success and I was blown away. There are definite pluses and some things that could've been better - but for the most part, it was all success.

Embracing a Generation

2005-11-16T22:32:00.000-06:00

The following is a sermon I wrote and preached on Sunday, November 13th to the Boone (NC) Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. The topic was about Young Adults, as will be apparent. Feel free to leave comments and discuss with me.

“Radically Inclusive. Spiritually Alive. Justice Centered.” The tagline for the Unitarian Universalist Young Adult and Campus Ministry office succinctly calls to the forefront what our movement brings to people between the ages of 18 and 35. Our church is the only modern day faith that welcomes diverse religious beliefs without enforcing a belief in any one God. Our churches, while they have much work to do, welcome gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered folk and People of Color - while many churches remain deeply divided. We are so inclusive that one of the most derisive comments against our faith is that we're the church of "anything goes." Outsiders look in and see that we have a Pagan family next to a Christian man next to an Atheist woman - and it's almost hard for them, and sometimes us, to believe that we can make it work.

But for most Unitarian Universalists, our growth stems from our religious community and interactions among people - especially those with different beliefs than ours. We learn, grow and struggle with our beliefs - and as we do so, we accept tidbits of wisdom from others and hold onto our truth as our experiences have taught us. Between worship services that bring together the whole community, covenant groups which allow members a closer connection while discussing theology, and religious education - for our children and for adults - our dedication to spiritual growth is strong and allows a safe place to explore, unlike any other, for people to work on their spiritual beliefs.

As Unitarian Universalist, we are called to be a just faith and carry that work out into the world. Many synagogues, churches, temples and mosques do this work, so it's imperative that our distinct religiously liberal voice be as loud as we can have it. Fellow UUs have led the fight for same-sex marriage in Massachusetts while many of us support fair trade coffee. Many of our Social Action committees work closely with the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee, an affiliate of the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations that is committed to social justice work. On a congregational level, we march in crop walks and we host fundraisers for AIDS patients and we teach our children to be kind to all of creation - perhaps our most lasting legacy to justice work.

So at this point, many of you are likely wondering where Young Adults come into this, as I've been discussing the church as a whole. Truth be told, they've been a part of everything I've said. In our congregations, and in our larger movement, Young Adults are part of all the work that we do. Though it's occasionally good for them to be by themselves for dinner after church or a night out, it's important to remember that they, that we, are full members of this faith. I am honored to be here today and for the next few minutes I'd like to tell you a little bit of my history in regards to Unitarian Universalism. Before I continue, I challenge each of you, in the next couple of weeks, to find out each other's history and path to our faith.

I grew up in a Southern Baptist church. My grandmother was the pianist and if it was open, you could bet we were there. Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday evening and all of the special events. Somewhere around the age of 7 or 8, though, I developed an Universalist understanding of the world – denying that an all-loving God would send someone to hell. Somewhere around 9 or 10, I realized that Jesus wasn’t divine – at least not any more so than me. I spent years trying to reconcile these beliefs with the church and eventually, after causing enough problems, I left. As I dated the daughter of an United Methodist minister, I found some solace in a more liberal religion than I was used to, however my calling to ministry was denied. I was not fully heterosexual so there was no place for me in the UMC. I studied religion in the summer of 2000 with other high school seniors and came to understand that religion was a personal exercise. That summer, I applied to colleges and my first choice, the University of South Carolina, gave out information about college religious groups. The last group in the booklet was the Unitarian Universalist group – and I was shocked. Imagine me, a 17 year old high schooler, finding out that something existed that he didn’t know about.

I went to every UU website I could find and finally ventured to the closest church, 30 minutes away. It was amazing and I joined a few months later. However I soon found out that early morning services and college did not mix well. Noticing a lack of inclusion, or even acknowledgement that I existed, I decided it would be okay for me to sleep in. After months went by, I missed my community and the call to minister was heard once again. This time I decided that it would work, even if I had to make myself included. I went to church, joined the committees that needed the most help and started feeling more comfortable. Even though I did not grow up UU, which troubled many people, people started to understand I could be a valued member of the community. I became more involved in the congregation and on the continental level. There became a point when I understood that my calling was more important than temporary discomfort, and that people included me more when they got to know me – it’s just that they weren’t going to reach out.

Within my personal narrative are many similarities with other Young Adults and some anomalies. When I first visited the church, just 5 years ago, I remarked how I felt so peaceful and “at home.” It gave me a chill when I invited a friend, years later, and she said the same. If I can say only one thing you’ll carry with you after today, let it be this: There are people, not just Young Adults, longing and searching for our faith. They need to be saved. Not saved from hell and fire and brimstone like I was taught in my Baptist church and how much of the world views salvation. But saved from going through life without ever getting to sit down in a loving, caring, beloved community like this one and saying the words, “I feel at home.” Many Young Adults are looking for their first home, or at least one that they’ve chosen for themselves. Tired of the dogmatic beliefs of many places of worship, certainly disenchanted as they’ve been told they must think this or must worship that – many Young Adults want nothing to do with organized religion. And that’s our cue. The ages between 18 and 35 are perfect for our faith. Who better to incorporate into discussions on forming beliefs than the very people entering adulthood and having to form their beliefs without being able to fall back on the excuse that they agree with something solely because “that’s how they were raised”?

Now, I would be remiss if I didn’t address the fears and myths some congregations have about Young Adults. First on the list is that if Young Adults wanted to join, they world – and that to be evangelical is to act too much like other religious groups that have burned us in the past. I’ll add that for much of what I say, you could drop the “Young Adults” and simply say people because we need to do better outreach to everyone. Yes, there are movements there are too pushy in their ministry – but that doesn’t mean that the only other option is to do nothing. Sometimes we, as Unitarian Universalists, can have a treehouse, or country club, mentality. That is, if you find us, we’ll let you join, but we don’t recruit. It’s important that we reach out – the world is full of people who don’t know who or what a Unitarian Universalist is and when they do come, it’s our responsibility to shake their hands, talk to them and engage them. Maybe you think Young Adults are too busy to come to church or to be involved in committee work – but ask anyway. A friend of mine once reminded me that people always make time for that which nourishes them. Another fear congregations have is that Young Adults will be bad members in that they won’t show up as often, give as much, or that they’ll be transitory. I’m in a pulpit, and I learned a long time ago that you don’t lie in church, so here it is. Some Young Adults won’t come on many Sunday mornings, not many will give thousands of dollars and some have to move on without sticking around for the long term success of the church. But tell me, isn’t this true of members of all ages?

As we think of Young Adults in our churches, it’s easy to fall back on the first principle of respecting the inherent worth and dignity of all people but what about the fourth and fifth? The acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth and a free and responsible search for truth and meaning should apply to all people, especially those entering adulthood. Our religion, as we know it now, is roughly forty years old. As many of the leaders of 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s still support our congregations, many are also retiring gracefully. We must appreciate that for our movement to keep going, indeed for the chalice to stay lit, Young Adults are important.

Let us keep the youth who disappear after religious education and being so involved.

Let us call out to involve Young Adults who may be longing for a religious home.

Go to the colleges and universities, reach out to every branch of the military, and seek out people working in this community.

And after doing so, we would be one.

Blessed be this community.